How to Destroy a certain Kikumaru Eiji
by Yorozuya Gin-san
Summary: Gakuto writes a report. About what? Check the title. You might be amazed by how much he hates the guy. Or amazed on how stupid he is. He still doesn't know what sarcasm is.


How to Destroy a Certain Kikumaru Eiji...

* * *

"Ok kids," Miss Akari, Gakuto's language Arts teacher announced, "We will be writing a paper for homework."

Some kids groaned.

"Now, now kids. Just write about anything you want. It has to be a page long, ok?"

Gakuto was busy scribbling a picture of a piece of ash which he wrote "Kikumaru Eiji".

"Do you all understand? How about you, Mukahi-kun?" The teacher asked.

Gakuto looked up from his picture. "Huh? Did you say something?"

"Mukahi-kun, I supposed you're dong your homework? You were so into your paper."

"Um... sure, yeah. Doing homework..." Gakuto muttered. "I'm too smart to..."

The teacher smiled, "Well, you get to write whatever you want."

Gakuto sighed. He is _too_ smart for this class.

* * *

"Hey Yuushi." Gakuto said.

"..."

"Yuushi!"

"What?" Oshitari replied.

"Do my homework." Said Gakuto. He pulled out a note book and threw it on Yuushi's head.

"...That hurt."

"Just do my homework."

"You do it."

Shishido and Choutaro sat down across from the two. "If Gakuto did his homework, I would be a mother who worships Atobe."

"You're a mother? You worship Atobe?" Gakuto asked.

Shishido rolled his eyes. "No stupid, that was sarcasm."

"Who's sarcasm?"

Shishido decided to ignore the red head and work on his homework.

"Yuushi, who's sarcasm?"

"Just do your work Gakuto." Yuushi replied.

"Shishido-san, I'm going to get some books. I'll be right back." Choutaro said.

"Ok."

Gakuto decided to do his homework. This has never been done is years. He usually just puts in random things or let Yuushi do it.

"Ok... what to write..." He mumbled. "What should I write about... oh!" He quickly scribbled some words in. "I am writing a report." He read.

Shishido looked up from his book. "Gakuto, don't read out your report, it's annoying."

Gakuto frowned. "My report is about how to kill a certain Kikumaru Eiji. He is a kid from Seigaku. He is annoying. I hate him very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, much. He is a failure at acrobatics."

Shishido was getting very annoyed. "Gakuto, don't read it out loud!"

The librarian shushed him.

"Just do your stupid report quietly." Shishido whispered.

"Kikumaru should die. I think we should shoot bazookas at him. Or we can throw a bomb at him. He needs to die. I can call the army after him. Let sharks eat him is fine by me. Just let me kill him." Gakuto continued. "Kikumaru is an idiot that is stupid and dumb. He really should take first grade over again. I, Mukahi Gakuto, am smarter than him. Actually, I'm smarter than everyone in Hyoutei."

"Sempai, I'm back." Choutaro whispered. "Is Mukahi-sempai... doing his homework?"

A chuckle was heard. Everyone turned around (besides the still writing Gakuto) and saw Atobe was the one who was chuckling. "So, Gakuto really has a brain, eh?"

Shishido rolled his eyes. "I was surprised too."

Atobe took the seat next to Oshitari. "So, what is Gakuto actually doing?"

Gakuto looked up from his paper. "I'm writing a report on how much I hate Kikumaru and how he should die a slow and painful death." He replied. "I'm already on my second page!"

"Leave it to Gakuto to write about stupid things." Shishido muttered under his breath.

"It's not stupid! It's genius!" Gakuto cried. The librarian shushed him. "Shush yourself, stupid." He muttered.

Shishido snatched a paper from Gakuto. "You misspelled hate."

"What? So it only has three e's?" Gakuto asked.

"And you also misspelled smarter."

"It has only four l's?"

"Use spell check." Shishido said.

"What's a spell check?"

Yuushi put down his pencil and replied, "Use the computer."

Shishido snickered, "I doubt Gakuto here knows how to use the key board. He probably only knows how to play video games on it."

"Not true! I could put in my name!" Gakuto said.

"I'll believe it when I see it. Tell me, did your name have seven o's?"

"Nope. Only one!"

Atobe chuckled once more. "Amazing that Gakuto can only spell his name. Ore-sama here--"

"I don't want to know." Shishido interrupted.

"Me neither." Gakuto said. He got up. "I'm going to use a computer."

A few moments later, Gakuto hollered out, "How do turn it on?"

The librarian frowned and helped Gakuto anyways.

A half hour later, Shishido was reading a comic. Choutaro was still working on his report, occasionally asking Shishido to help out. Oshitari was reading his extremely long novel. Atobe was also reading.

"Done." Gakuto said as he sat down next to Oshitari again.

Shishido snatched the paper again. "Much better. Looks like a regular paper."

"Besides the point that he wrote about killing Kikumaru." Oshitari added. Amazing that Yuushi was still paying attention to everything around him.

* * *

The following morning was a great one for Gakuto. He had a great breakfast and he got to school early.

"I'm going to get an A-plus!!" He exclaimed. He handed his paper to his teacher. After class he got his paper back.

"Congratulations, Mukahi-kun, you actually got more than five points for your papers!" Miss Akari smiled.

Gakuto took his paper, he jumped for joy. Almost. If he really did, he would've killed himself by bonking his head on the ceiling. "I've got a hundred! Got to show off to Shishido!" He started to dance.

"So, Gakuto had gotten himself an A?" Shishido said, "Amazing. Never thought I would live to see that day..."

"Yup!" Said Gakuto who was still dancing, "Now you have to be a mother who worships Atobe!"

"I was being sarcastic."

"So? You lost the bet!"

"What bet?"

"My, my, looks like Gakuto doesn't know about sarcasm." Atobe said.

He stopped dancing. "WHAT'S SARCASM?!?!" Gakuto shouted.

"Sarcasm is sarcasm." Shishido said.

"SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IS SARCASM!!!!!!" Gakuto shouted on the top of his lungs.

**Fin.**


End file.
